Emotionally Immature Parents (E.I.P.) Part II
*Henry Juan Ball speaking*
And I wish there was something I could do
To make your whole life better
There isn’t…there isn’t…there isn’t.
I was born a certain way, raised a certain way
These are my values
You know… you can't just come here and tell me…
“shove it down your throat and you have to be okay with it”
Alright? That thing destroyed me. Your mother knows it.
That probably destroyed us more,
Me…my life…never the same.
It scarred me.
I have an open scar that will never close. I want you to know that.
Uhh.. anything about “gay” or anything like that…
Unless you bring it here…No…no…no…no…
There is…no…you’ve never seen me stick my dick out and put it in your mother’s mouth…again!
*Reina speaking*
Because when I see love. I see unconditional affection
Towards a person, no matter what they’re going through.
No matter what their life is.
That’s what love is. This isn’t love.
I’m not seeing love in my family.
And it’s really fucking painful because this is all I know.
This is my family. I don’t know anybody else.
And the fact that I’m not feeling this love in this family it is really hurting me…because I feel loss.
*Anna Maria Tejada speaking*
But what are you talking about? We are always supporting you?!
*Reina speaking*
I know! But you aren’t doing that right now…when I need it the most!
*Anna Maria Tejada speaking*
But I thought…he already knows how I feel!
*Reina speaking*
But by you saying that behind closed doors. When he’s not here, that’s not enough.
I need you to stand up in front of everybody and say, “YES, my son is bisexual and I love him because I don’t give a fuck that he’s bisexual. Because at the end of the day, he’s still my son, he’s still my blood!”
*Henry Juan Ball speaking*
The only reason why I feel uncomfortable around you
Is because you make me feel uncomfortable around you.
Uhh.. anything about “gay” or anything like that…
Unless you bring it here…No…no…no…no…
There is…no…you’ve never seen me stick my dick out and put it in your mother’s mouth…again!
Your mother and I’s relationship got to the worst.
And one day, thinking, “Let me see if I could make a difference.”
Le di una galleta! (Henry attacked Anna Maria in her sleep)
I was just looking for something different to save my marriage.
Maybe that way she’ll react. It actually made things worse.
Your courage brought you as far as writing me a letter…
That I should have never received.
I should have never been exposed too because that destroyed me.
There’s not a day in my life that I wake up that i feel like throwing up
Why? Because I am who I am
I! It’s in me! That says that THAT is a handicap.
Okay? I really bad one.
It’s important that you know that I am PRO everything!
Everything! But I see it as a handicap and as a bad thing
Just like a see my son, autistic. Just that I…I…I see
It’s what it is. It’s life. It’s me. And it’s sad. And the way I have it…
And I feel it…and I carry it every day…it’s in a really bad way.
You cannot come here and say that
Because I want not raised Muslim…right? Or extremist in any type
You cannot come here…one day…to this house…and say, “I’m Muslim and I’m going to become a Taliban.” and not expect me to feel a certain way.
You cannot come here and say that
Because I want not raised Muslim…right? Or extremist in any type
I will ask you to please try not to be…try not to be Muslim
Because that’s what…because of that…FAITH!
But I would ask you not to do that but if you want to come here tomorrow
And say, “I’m Muslim”. I will be heartbroken but I’m not going to get in the way. Although I’m going to be very disturbed. Because I have…I have issues. Because I feel sorry for those people who have faith up to…believe things up to that level that would actually hurt somebody in THAT way.
The only reason why I feel uncomfortable around you
Is because you make me feel uncomfortable around you.
You cannot come here and accuse me of [being] an Anti-Christ
Because of something that I am, that you were born into.
This is who i am. These are my values. I’m not perfect.
I’m not your…your boy’s father. I’m not none of them.
I am me.
But because of who I am…there is disappointment.
But you’re going through that because of your own decisions in life.
You want to call it homophobia? I mean…it’s just…it’s not that!
Homophobia?--it’s not…I…I..I never…I have no issues with being around…
I don’t…never…at work I have people that are…
If I expose myself to certain environments
I will…tend…to…to…open up to some things
“Maybe I do want to try that.”
I never did that to myself because I knew it was wrong
You want to call it homophobia? I mean…it’s just…it’s not that!
Homophobia?--it’s not…I…I..I never…I have no issues with being around…
I don’t…never…at work I have people that are…
Whatever you want to do to find yourself…if it is something
Out of the normal…I didn’t want to know. I do not want to know.
I promise you on my kids. I promise you on my—I…que se muera…
Que me muera yo, mis hijos, mi familia, y padres (Translation: I swear it on my life, the lives of my kids, family, and parents) okay?
If I ever had like a homosexual act..I…it’s never happened in my life
*Reina speaking*
So let me hear you say that…PUBLICLY
That is the issue. That’s why these people are so scared of
coming out. They are afraid of being killed. They are afraid of
their family disowning them.
We need people to support us.
Because if we don’t…then that’s why the suicide rate is so fucking
High for us. Because we feel so fucking alone…and hopeless.
What is it that you don’t understand?!
And literally, people start talking about us when we actually do
Commit fucking suicide. Cause they like, “oh…they were serious.”
YEAH THE FUCK WE WERE SERIOUS!
WE’RE NOT HAPPY!
EVERYONE HATES US!
EVERYONE WANTS US TO BE A CERTAIN WAY!
I NEED TO FUCK A BUNCH OF
10,000 FUCKING GIRLS JUST TO MAKE
HIM HAPPY, WHEN I'M UNHAPPY.
SO YEAH! I COULD BE FUCKING SUICIDAL AND KILL MYSELF!
BECAUSE NO ONE IS GIVING ME THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!
AND MAYBE IF I DO KILL MYSELF MAYBE YOU’LL ACTUALLY REALIZE
HOW MUCH I’M IN PAIN!
*Henry Juan Ball speaking*
[If anything, I’m the one who’s outspoken for
Everyone else…everyone!
El blanco, el negro, el musluman,
El chino…el everyone! defend…I’m the one that’s
Defending everyone.
Because I…TRULY…visualize
And put myself in their shoes.
I have the gift of..the gift of empathy!
Most people don’t…most people just sympathize…] x5
If I expose myself to certain environments
I will…tend…to…to…open up to some things
“Maybe I do want to try that.”
I never did that to myself because I knew it was wrong…
Lyrics/Songwriter: CÁMO (aka LA REINA TAÍNA)
